As I am sitting on the deck watching the boys play, I realize it's been a long time time since I've just sat and thought about pretty little simple things. Like how there is something so gorgeous about the early morning fall sun. It has this warm and inviting hazy orange glow to it, unlike the hazy yellow sun in the summer, which is still gorgeous but you know sooner or later it's gonna be a hot one out there... or the crickets, who have been sing songing all day and all night around here for the past few weeks, and it's so nice...I am welcoming the cool comforting nights with the windows open as opposed to the hum of the air conditioner. I am anticipating comfort food in the crock pot and snuggly blankets on the couch...
Yes, it's been a long time since I sat down and did nothing. No thinking about what needs to be done, not yelling at the kids cause I hear someone screaming or throwing a tantrum, not trying to remember if I took meat out of the freezer for supper, not trying to whip through 20 emails that are sitting in my inbox all eagerly anticipating my reply {not-haha!}, not working on design projects or cutting out fabric for my shop...Yep a long time to just take a second, just to sit and maybe close my eyes and soak up the last little bit of warm summery like weather...
This weekend Mike and I are leaving the kids at my parents and having a weekend away with some friends. I know! Can you believe it, how crazy and free spirited are we?! HA! I should be excited about it, but you want to really know what I'm thinking? I've been thinking that I would really like to try and get out of this weekend, so that I can spend the weekend doing everything that I have on my to do list....blogging, shop orders, cleaning, organizing, shopping...That's bad, isn't it? How I would rather have a weekend to myself then spend it with my husband. Eek. I just got hit by lightening. That's bad. I should be counting down the days till we get to spend some much needed, MUCH NEEDED time together....
So back to my moment of solitude today... when I finally did get a second to sit down, you know what I thought about as I was trying to clear my mind? How I can't clear my mind. Yep, why do I have so much 'stuff', and that is exactly what it is-STUFF, going on up there?! Why do I think I need to take on everything, right now?! Bottom line is, I am an unorganized over achiever always wanting more but never knowing how to juggle it all! Can you believe I actually have a draft in my post folder tittled, The Secret to Balance?! Ha! Obviously I was feeling on top of things that day! I think I have been taking the saying, 'live for today' a little too literal. And I do this all the time. I think about how bad I am at juggling things, so I cut back on things and relook at my time management, but then I always get stuck in the same routine after awhile. It's awful. It's annoying. I wish someone would tell me how not to do that. I need a help group. Haha.
So my realizations today...
That lately my stuff was more important then my life. And my stuff was definitely not my life.
I realized that I do not have to accomplish everything in a matter of days or weeks or months, or whatever the ridiculous timeline that I gave myself was.
I realized that I can relax every now and then, I can shut off my brain to the outside world and say no, not today!
AND yes, yes, I will enjoy this much needed weekend away with my husband and friends!!!
Today, I will try so very hard not to multitask until my brain explodes, to put my feet up more, to enjoy being a mom more, to enjoy my husband more...before all these enjoyable things are gone and I have no idea what the heck I was doing while everyone else was enjoying life.
Happy weekend!
2 comments:
I completely understand that feeling! When my husband and I get rare and valuable day(s) alone, I often find myself thinking "I could be getting sooo much done with this time!" It is something that I, too, need to work on. I have a really hard time living in the now (and not the next week, month or year). I love the ending to this post. On my deathbed I am not going to look back and say "I wish my house had been cleaner." Great post!
Those photos put me so at peace just looking at that view. It is so hard since we tend to be women that want to get everything done, but when we cross something off the to-do list, we add 3 more things. I'm glad you're seeing that 'you time' and family time are the most important and everything else will eventually happen, and if it doesn't, it wasn't really that important. Enjoy the weekend!
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