Failing

This should be a happy time...but I can't get there. Today has been completely awful and it is only 10:30am. I can't even begin to explain what I am feeling, overwhelmed, exhausted, angry, misunderstood...I guess that might sum it up. I've been rocking a little boy to sleep for the past hour because he's been screaming and I just can't wrap my mind around how I am supposed to do everything. Mike is home for the next couple days and while I think that this should be a blessing-maybe I can get something done without having to juggle kids, diapers, breakfast...this is not the case. In fact it's like adding in an extra kid. So then we fight, a lot. All I wanted was a couple minutes to fix my blog layout that I screwed up last night. It was late and I was tired, so I said screw it, I'll fix it tomorrow. So this morning as I was attempting to fix it, kids woke up and wanted breakfast, Mike was laying on the couch watching TV. But it was me, who got up and started breakfast. I probably sound like a selfish wife...but really? This is just the tip of the iceburg.

The kids are crazy and whiny because of course they are off schedule. For the past 4 days we have been across the country five million times, nap times have not existed and meals have been not quite right, add in a million presents, sugar and we are bound to have a bad day today. Knowing this though, I still get frustrated.

I love my husband, but on days like this, it is incredibly hard. As I put laundry into the washing machine I noticed the bag of wrapping paper on the floor...the bag that should've went out with the recycling this morning. The bad that was sitting right beside the blue box. As I yell out the door to Mike to hurry and get it in the box, I get no response....why? Dunno...him and Gray have disappeared. Thanks for telling me you were leaving. So here I am sitting, taking advantage of time alone, when I should be cleaning up this chaotic aftermath of Christmas. But I wanted to sit here and not explain why I am on the computer, yet again.

Which brings up another area that I feel so overwhelmed with. My blogging. I love it. I love it so much that I want to so it all day! I know that this is not possible so I try and schedule in time to do it, usually in the evenings or during nap time. Unfortunately, this time gets shorter and shorter for some reason. I am not sure how I am supposed to succeed at something when I clearly have no time for anything. I'm a crappy mom when I blog, I'm a crappy blogger when I have to be a mom, and I seem to be a crappy wife all the time because I can't commit 100% to anything.

So should I give up blogging? I hope not. I would like to see this become some sort of an income in the near future as I will be coming off mat leave in 4 months. Which means no income. Which means that unless I get my butt in gear (not sure I could get any faster), I will be handing out resumes to find a crap ass minimum wage job to come up with an extra $600 a month just so we balance. Which means I won't be with my kids, I will be paying someone else to look after them. I will be re-entering the work force after being at a full time steady job, that I loved for 6 years.

I would love to make a go at this blogging/Etsy thing but I don't know how to get there. Not having support from someone you love makes it incredibly hard. Although they say the support is there, why is it so difficult for me to see?

I had big plans for this blog for 2012. Right now they seem like far away dreams though...

Sorry I'm such a downer, I just had to get some of these feelings out. It probably doesn't even make sense. I just feel like a big ball of poo. Hopefully I can get back on track, but for now I am going to be taking a little hiatus until the New Year. I think that in order to figure things out my computer has to shut off, my pretty little blog makeover will be left in an unfinished mess and my inbox will over flow with emails. But it has to be done. I will get back to each and every one of you, I promise. Don't worry sponsors, I will get your ads up in time for January and for the rest of you, I will be back, and better then ever...:) Cross your fingers for me.

8 years

Then-

It's hard to believe that 8 years ago today, our life together began on this small beach in southwestern Ontario. It was an unbelievably perfect day, and I will never forget this day as I married my best friend. The past 8 years haven't been a smooth, uncomplicated ride, but part of marriage is taking the good with the bad. And we have had plenty of good! Two handsome little boys prove that life just gets better and better.

Now-

To my best friend- my generous, loving, forgiving husband- I LOVE you just as much as the day I said I DO!

{Life Made Lovely Monday}

What's making my life lovely today?

Aside from today being a holiday and the freshly fallen snow in our yard...thoughts of the weekend are making my life lovely...

It was long overdue for both Mike and myself...we finally got away and had some 'couple' time! Gray went for a sleepover at his Granny and Gramp's house and we went on a 30 minute road trip to a nearby town...I figured it was now or never cause in a month or so, our 'alone' time will be very limited!

It was exactly what we needed...we spent the day shopping browsing the local shops and then checked into our fabulous hotel, complete with fireplace and jacuzzi! Everything was perfect..we were greeted with homemade cookies, apples and bottles of water for a snack and robes on the bed. We spent the later part of the afternoon relaxing on our super comfy king sized bed before getting ready for an even more fabulous dinner (part of our hotel weekend getaway package)...the food was delicious and the service was amazing. We spent a couple hours just sitting, eating and talking, people watching through the window seat view we had. Oh, and I had the most fabulous Virgin Pina Colada!!!

The hotel even had a list of DVDs that you could borrow...so we cozied up after dinner and watched a few movies from the comfort of bed, the hum of a baby monitor far from our minds! BLISS!!

So, what's making your life lovelier today?

Check out some other linked up lovely blogs here:

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7 years ago

Happy Anniversary!

This post is a bit late since our anniversary was 3 days ago. But it didn't go unnoticed...it just kinda slipped into our week of things going on. We got to spend the last few days at a friends cottage (pics coming soon- I am having computer issues), and it was soooo needed! It's amazing how relaxing it is just to get away from your everyday routine. To sit back and put your feet up. We did a bit of swimming, a lot of lounging around and catching up with some great friends! Anyway, here is one of my favourite photos from that beautiful day 7 years ago, it seems just like yesterday!

Fantastic evening

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This past weekend we had the pleasure of being in the company of a great couple...their love is so infectious and real...you couldn't help but smile and enjoy yourself! Mike was in the wedding party, so that gave me lots of time to take pictures!

The venue was spectacular and romantic...tucked away on a windy cobblestone street, so secluded from the rush and noise of the city. It was breathtaking!

I took a bazillion pictures...here are just a few more from this fantastic day!

Congratulations Clark & Natalie!

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The line

                     

Don't go over the line

Why is the middle of the bed so much more comfy then the outside?It is an ongoing, let's say 'issue' in our bed...the middle line on our headboard just beckons my arm to overhang ever so slightly. I say it is because I want to be closer to Mike -sounds good, right?